Greg's Life
by MCdoubleE
Summary: Greg returns to Hogwarts for his last year, and it will be a memorable one. When new sleeping arrangement arise, hilarity ensues with the arrival of a new roomie. Rated M for later language. RnR!


**OOOOOOOOKAY. Um, I'm not sure where this story is going…. But whatever. I felt the need to post it**.

**oOoOoOo**

Greg hung his head as he boarded the train. He'd hoped everyone would approve of his new look, but all Vince and Draco had done when they saw him was laugh. Cruelly. After a summer of hard dieting and exercise, he was hardly recognizable, no longer resembling a boulder, but a chiseled work of Grecian art. He wasn't enjoying the endless stares from passing students (mainly girls). He unglued his eyes from the ground just in time to see Hermione Granger snogging Ron Weasley, flanked by the school's golden couple Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley. He sneered and looked back at the ground. _What does a guy have to do to get a date around here?_ Greg wondered.

He stumped into the compartment containing the other Slytherins, who fell silent the moment he entered. "Wo_ah_, Goyle, man!" Blaise shot Greg a quick high five. "Wow Greg, you look great!" Pansy said, standing to give him a hug. "Thanks" He mumbled, falling into the seat next to Blaise. This was more of the reaction he had been hoping for.

At that moment, Draco and Vince entered the carriage. Draco looked Greg over again and smirked "Has your mum been on your case again?" Draco knew Mrs. Goyle. Tall, thin, and beautiful, she had never appreciated her fat, stupid son. "If you're going to be mentally _retarded_," Draco remembered her spitting at Greg after seeing his report card "You could at least be easy on the eyes!" Greg smiled. "Yeah. She took all the food out of our house. My dad nearly cried."

As they settled in for the trip to Hogwarts, a glossy blonde head poked into the compartment. This head belonged to none other than Lauren Bulstrode, Millicent's much better looking cousin. She had graduated from Hogwarts last year and was coming back as a student teacher. All the boys stared, transfixed by her shiny hair and sparkling blue eyes. Pansy looked around quickly and took control of the situation. "Sure, Lauren." She smiled warmly but at the same time grabbed Draco's head and pulled it into her lap. Pansy and Lauren were old friends.

As she entered, she chucked Greg under the chin. "Look who's all grown up!" Greg smiled again. "Thanks Laur." The Bulstrode and Goyle families went way back. Blaise looked at him in slight disbelief and Greg knew exactly what he was thinking. _Can _anyone_ act that way around someone who looks like _that_? Especially Goyle!_ Greg raised his eyebrows at Blaise.

The train jerked suddenly and Lauren lost her balance, landing in Greg's lap. Blaise's eyes were now about the size of hubcaps. Lauren giggled and moved across the compartment to the only open seat.

"So kiddies, how'd y'all do on your OWLs?" Lauren asked, flipping her sheet of blonde hair over her shoulder. Greg groaned and leaned back into the comfortable seat. That was the general reaction but Blaise sat up a little straighter.

"Mostly Os, but a couple of Es. You know…" He tried to speak casually, but he failed to keep the pride out of his voice. Lauren smiled approvingly at him. "Sorry, I don't think I caught your name..?"

Two minutes later, Lauren was sitting on Blaise's lap snogging for England. Greg and Vince sat awkwardly, looking at the wall, because by this point Draco and Pansy had also begun to snog.

A clattering at the door did nothing to disturb the snoggers, but Greg and Vince looked up hopefully.

"Sorry to disturb the snogfest, but Professor McGonagall wants to see Malfoy and Goyle." Hermione Granger stood in the doorway, one hand propping the door open, the other resting on her hip as she tapped her toe impatiently. Greg rose immediately, despite his confusion. Draco took much longer to detach himself from Pansy's mouth.

"Now!" Granger snapped as she mimed gagging.

"Ha ha ha. You're all sunshine and giggles, eh Granger?" Malfoy snapped, surfacing. As they exited, Greg noticed there was another witch standing with Grander. Purple Chocolate? Something like that. He gave he a smile, but she just raised her eyebrows with a look that could not have been clearer. _With a Slytherin? I think not_. The smile slid off his face and he turned to face Draco, rolling his eyes. Granger beckoned them down the passage toward the front of the train.

They reached the teacher's compartment and stepped inside. Professor McGonagall sat alone reading the Daily Prophet. She folded it down just enough to give them the evil eye. "You're late."

"Yes Professor, I'm very sorry about that. Malfoy, would you like to explain why that is?" Granger responded, smiling sweetly at him. He blushed and glared at her, opening his mouth the retort. Sensing danger, Professor McGonagall intervened.

"Never you mind, I don't think I want to know anyway. Grab a seat." She said, gesturing around her. "First, I would like to congratulate Ms. Granger and Mr. Malfoy on becoming heads of the school." Granger bowed her head in recognition while Draco only smirked. "This year we're trying something new to promote interhouse unity." She continued. A slight frown creased forehead and Draco had stopped smirking. "All the prefects and both heads will be boarding together. This means sharing a common room, bathrooms, and sleeping chambers. The boys and girls will, obviously, be separated." As she spoke, looks of horror and disgust blossomed on both Draco's and Granger's faces. McGonagall observed this and continued before she could be interrupted. "Now, I'm sure Ms. Brown and Mr. Goyle are wondering why they are here." Greg and the Brown girl nodded. "Well, because Ms. Granger and Mr. Malfoy have become heads, Slytherin and Gryffindor are each a prefect short." She smiled warmly at them. "Welcome to Prefectdom. You are free to go." She stood, extending her hand to both Greg and Brown in turn.

Granger linked arms with Brown and dragged her down the train. As the girls left, they could hear Granger muttering. "I cannot believe this! In my last year…" a scowl firmly in place on her face.

"Oh hell. This is _not_ going to be a good year." Draco was grimacing quite unpleasantly as her marched back down to their compartment, Greg on his heels. They slammed back into the Slytherin compartment and Draco threw himself indignantly into Pansy's lap.

"What's wrong, Drakie?" Pansy simpered, automatically stroking his white-blonde hair out of his eyes. By now, with his mood swings, it was almost a reflex. He scowled up at her then looked around. "Where'd Blaise'n Lauren go?"

Vince guffawed in the corner. "Oh they left _ages_ ago. To the 'bathroom' I think." Pansy smirked. Draco rolled his eyes at her easy amusement. Vince immediately stopped laughing.

They changed into their school robes and disembarked, hurrying to the nearest carriage. The horseless carriage lurched and began to move toward the castle.

They walked into the hall at the same time as Potter and his friends. They exchanged customary glares and moved off toward their respective tables. Dumbledore made his usual announcements as well as the news of the new living arrangement of the prefects.

They all finished their meal and moved on to desserts when Greg found his eyes roving the Gryffindor table for Lavender Brown. He found her and dropped his fork, despite the large bite of pie resting on it. She was sitting next to Granger and some guy, sucking a large, luscious lollypop. He gagged again and tried to look away, but to no avail.

"Goyle, what is so fascinating that you aren't listening to me?" Draco's whining voice cut into Greg's thoughts.

"Uh, erm… ghuck…" Greg made a very cat-hacking-up-a-fir-ball type noise.

"What's ghuck?" Draco asked, eyebrows raised.

"Bun, Barn, Bra… B-b-brown." Greg managed to choke out, wiping the drool from his chin, his eyes never leaving Brown's tongue, now licking her lips. Draco leaned on his elbow, reducing him to the level of Greg's hunched back, and followed his gaze. His chin slipped off his palm and crashed into the table. He recovered quickly, trying not to miss a moment of Brown's lollypop escapades.

"Pwoar. We're sharing a dorm with her. Oy… Oh dear" He broke his gaze to glanced down at his pants.

Brown got up, turning her back and cutting off Draco and Greg's view of her mouth's lollypop licking adventure.

"Hold up mate!" Both boys shouted objections, then flushed, realizing the whole of Slytherin table was now staring at them. Pansy was tugging on both their arms.

"C'mon guys! Dumbledore just called prefects and heads!" They got up quickly, thankful for any excuse to leave the table, and baggy robes, although apprehensive about being in such close quarters with Brown and that notorious lollypop.

**oOoOoOo**

**ALRIGHTY GUYS, LETS GET SOME RnR GOIN ON HERE _queue HP theme music_ You like? Suggestions, I'm not really sure where this is going…**


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